one regret

one day in 1998, i went home from manila falling into pieces. i had fucked up my education, wasted loads of money, and lost my girlfriend. i locked myself up in my room that night and with knife in hand, decided to commit suicide. obviously, i didnt do it, i merely slashed my forearm just to harm myself.

now, i wish i had done it. damn, i really wish i had.

worst case scenario: i fail to pay, i go to jail, nobody visits me. better off dead...

kiss and wake up

today, saturday, i slept for an accumulated time of 15 hours: from 3am to 9pm, minus three hours for food intake and bodily cleansing. probably not my longest slumber but i never had the opportunity to record the previous ones so this one sets the bar from now on.

i miss my maiden. seeing her in my dreams is great, but not enough. i miss the smell of her hair. ive never smelled her hair in my dreams. come to think of it, ive never smelled anything in my dreams. of course i could see and hear, but iv also felt, tasted, even thought in my dreams, but never smelled. i wonder...

darn. wish i had a dvd to watch later...

carpe diem

peter parker couldnt have said it better: punch me, i bleed.

anyways, in bowling for columbine, michael moore goes to canada to see how come canada seems safe and peaceful, while neighbor city detroit suffers from crimes. the people dont even lock their houses there... now why am i saying this? because if worse comes to worst, i might just be in an airplane headed for canada soon. my mom and aunts want me there (since i bum around here) and my aunts there have offered their home. all i need is to have my passport renewed.

this country sucks most of the time, but goddamit, i dont wanna go. i dont wanna leave my maiden. at night i cry in my bed imagining what it would be like when im gone...

it's more possible than not, but im still hoping that id get to stay here instead. but just in case, im loving my maiden the way i should, enjoying every moment i spend with her. it would be so so hard to say that g word...

zero

once again, i am out of stuff to download... sheesh.

random is the new order

maiden and i are a bit hooked on the couples fear factor re-run. id only seen the first few episodes before so im watching it again to find out which couple had won. like before, im rooting for monica and jackson. anyways, one of the stunts in the episode i saw a while ago had the women lying in a box full of rats while the men take chicken feet from it with their mouth. if the maiden and i were in it, id definitely skip the stunt. i know how much she hates rats and im definitely not making her go through that horror.

anyways, she says her dad's gonna buy her an ipod shuffle. which looks a lot like those pregnancy tests.

http://www.applematters.com/comments.php?id=264_0_1_0_C

well, my dad's gonna buy me an atv. and then i'd wake up.

all-terrain vehicle

(create your own tune)
i wanna have an atv! an atv! an atv!
i wanna have an atv! an atv for me!

changed

i, jai albert owen m. lanting (a.k.a. skizzy), do hereby solemny swear that my significant other, layla t. bool (a.k.a. maiden), from this moment forward, shall be treated much better and loved the way she requires.

screwed

paris hilton will soon release her debut album. barbie-doll-sex-video-star paris singing? now this one i gotta see... or hear.

eyes on the road

just finished watching "maria llena eres de gracia" or "maria full of grace" in english, a movie about a pretty girl with an uncertain future. i'd like to make a review but the maiden hates it when i talk about other women and it would be too difficult to ignore how beautiful this maria is. so i'll just say that the film is simple yet powerful, the message clear: a desperate person would do just about anything in exchange for a better life. even if it means transporting drug-bearing pellets through their stomach.

anyways, my only "better life" dream at the moment is to ride down the city streets void of stupid drivers... curse you all, you imbeciles!

movie review: before sunset

on my last job endeavor (which didnt prosper despite hard work) , a would-have-been co-worker came to the office late after watching before sunset which she bragged about incessantly. it wasnt the first time i heard of the movie, i had seen billboards, read a few reviews, viewed trailers, but hearing it from a supposedly cold-hearted woman made me wonder: something about that movie kicked this witch on the head...

before sunset is about a novelist, jesse, who comes to paris on a book tour only to find, once again, celine, a woman she met years ago and shared with a half-day love affair, to which his best-seller is based upon.

well, indeed there was that something about this movie, but it didnt kick me anywhere. it's a great movie, a seemingly typical love story flick, but not quite. i guess it's safe to say that before sunset is a love story without love. there is barely any romance on screen between the two leads and all they do throughout the film (in real time) is talk nonstop. which works because, even if you never saw before sunrise, you feel for these two people and their past love affair that lead nowhere and how that single event affected their lives. now, having gone on with their lives, they meet each other again and, at first act like normal friends who missed each other but after some alleys, a coffee shop, and a boat ride, it was clear that neither of them had gotten over it. only in the very last minute do they shut up, ending the movie without a closure. again, a great movie but not the best romance movie just yet.

what i like best about before sunset is that the movie progresses the way time progresses in reality. there were no time lapses. it must have been quite a feat to shoot. amazing.

clutter

cleaning up the other pc again. gonna rearrange all my files for better access. i really need to delete some files else id run out of disk space pretty soon. but it gets pretty hard to decide which files must go.

i like the word "pet" right now.

tomorrow... wednesday, my favorite day of the week. i'll watch amazing race in the morning and have no plans for the rest of the day. at night, movie review: before sunset.

movie review: taegukgi

ive encountered taegukgi loads of times during my many dvd hunts last year but for some unknown reason, i didnt buy a copy. only recently, after seeing its title in top ten lists and reading some good reviews, did i realize how much i had missed. i have a special liking for war flicks and taegukgi just became one of my faves.

taegukgi is mainly about two brothers and the korean war. their simple happy life is suddenly shattered when both of them get drafted as soldiers to fight for their country. jin-tae, the older brother, wants his younger brother, jin-seok, sent home so he braves up and puts himself on the line so he could get a medal of honor and in turn have his brother discharged. as the war progresses, the brothers' relationship gradually crumbles, with jin-seok questioning jin-tae's real intentions.

the movie is magnificent. the drama is subtle but highly emotional and effective that i found myself fighting tears every now and then. the main characters were introduced in such a great way that you immediately feel for them. one strong scene is when the soldiers take jin-seok by force to the train and jin-tae goes in to retrieve him but both of them are taken away instead, much to the heartbreak of their mother and jin-tae's fiancee. at the camp, the brothers and their fellow soldiers could do nothing about the harsh conditions brought upon them. it was jin-tae's iron will that uplifted everyone's morale. he lead them against the north korean forces and prevailed, but with severe consequences. the battles scenes were hard-hitting and brutal, very realistic. but what affected me more was the "side effects" of the war. there's this one part about a handkerchief that got me cringing. king-size kudos to the poeple behind this wonderful film.

touching, thrilling, tragic, terrific. taegukgi. i now feel how lucky we all are...

gruesome threesome

just watched "three... extremes" on dvd and goddarnit it is freakin superb! the movie is comprised of three fucked up short films by three asian directors known for their unique style: "box", by takashi miike; "dumplings" by fruit chan; and "cut" by park chan-wook. of the three directors, my favorite is takashi miike, but of the three shorts, my favorite is cut.

i am too lazy to make a review right now but im suddenly reminded of those old stupid "shake, rattle and roll" movies. pinoy horror movies that suck big time. oh well, all pinoy horror movies really suck anyways...

had my hair cut today. um... that's it.

stop and smell the flowers

why cant we people run out of things to argue about? it makes you realize that being the highest form of animals isnt all good. i believe that the biggest flaw we human beings have is our lack of satisfaction. we want so many things in life and when we do get them we just have to want more. money, power, fame, beauty, tv channels. always never enough. even love has become a commodity, weighed and measured and standardized...

think about this one: except for the recipient of the care, why do caretaker and caregiver mean the same thing? (just one of those seemingly nonsense things that pop into my head now and then that turn out to be pretty good ideas) maybe because, caring is and should always be an outward action. just like love.

maiden: sorry. love you. and always here for you.

`04 no more

i had planned to make a yearender blog (an essay-ish summary of my 2004) but my maiden complained that this yearender thingy was her idea and that i was copying her. okay... well, because my creative mind knows no limits, i decided to let her (and the rest of the world) own the yearender concept, and just come up with my own, which is basically your typical yearender sprinkled with skizzy spice. and so, with pleasure and pride, i present, in no particular order:

"skizzy's thirteen treats of two-thousand four"

#1: dsl internet. i first encountered high-speed non-dial-up internet in hong kong two years ago and ive dream of having it since then. now, i find myself running out of media to download and websites to visit.

#2: spongebob squarepants. ever since my lil sis made me watch one episode (the one about camping and seabears) ive been hooked. it's definitely one of the funniest cartoons ever.

#3: kidstv. i never really thought that toying around with adobe premiere to make music videos would land me a job as a kiddie tv show editor. best thing about it was i met some really good friends. it was fun while it lasted.

#4: blogging. the geek way if you have something to say. i should have started doing this a long time ago.

#5: mom and maiden talking. it was one of those things that you cant wait to see but you're not really waiting for it. and it happened on my birthday. what a great gift.

#6: harm. my first short film, with my maiden as the lead. turned out damn good despite... well just about everything. one day, when ive amassed enough funds, i'll do it again.

#7: our bmw. finally, a car i could drive the way i want to. fast, furious, and flashy. best of all, it's manual.

#8: cityland pasong tamo. i had my independent life problems, but on the good side... i lived in a condo, man! there's a penthouse pool i could always drown myself in.

#9: twenty-year-old maiden. she is growing up, at last. she's becoming the woman im destined to love for the rest of my life.

#10: live drumming. in my maiden's school presentation with cameras around and an audience. i am shy and i carry no arrogance around but being in the limelight sometimes makes me feel good about myself. for a while.

#11: the mrt. the place where i stood/sat with so many people around me and still felt alone. my personal meditation chamber.

#12: that day my maiden and i pretended to be parents. definitely one of the best times of life. cant wait for the days when we wont have to pretend...

#13: full body kissin. my maiden's soft luscious lips landing on every inch of my skin. i can feel the tingles just thinkin about it.

there they are, the 13 treats. these are not 'highlights', nor are they the only memories i can remember of the past year. this list is what made 2004 different from the previous years. in a positive way. there are many other good things to point out, but these are the ones on top. oh what a year that was...

anyways, hello 2005! yay!

optic nerves

i was supposed to finish my yearender blog today (i have it saved in notepad) but somethin's wrong with my eyes. i cant explain it exactly but when i look straight at somethin, it seems like it's moving. it's kinda scary and reading this blog alone creeps me out. i'll go give my eyes a quickie rest and hope everything's gonna be a-ok later. happy new year.

p.s. sorry, maiden.